Edit: I need to use the fanboy system in some of my sentences. Also elaborate more on what is "it" or thing". Finally, I need to make sure the readers know I am talking to them.
Revise: I need to use some transitions in some of my paragraphs to connect them. I should talks more about some of my stories in my memoir. I still need to find the "So what?" I need show what I have I learned from this whole journey.
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